the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had to cum in my sink.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
