we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
