I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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