Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
