so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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