Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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