I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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