Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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