I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think I sprained my soul last night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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