i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
