just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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