He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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