I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
