Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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