The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
