And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
