i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
