Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
