There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We are all done wearing pants today
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dick very happy bro
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
