FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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