Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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