nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
