I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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