I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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