If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
