Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
