oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
