Porn is love you can see.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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