Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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