My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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