Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
