the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize