Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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