hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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