I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
