she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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