community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's never too late to be topless.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
