Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
