That's intense
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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