ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize