A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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