she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
