I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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