Apparently you make a good broom.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
