In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
