I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
