Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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