That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize