There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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