im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
