Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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