dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I could fuck to npr.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
