: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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