he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
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My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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