what day is it and did you see me today?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
