she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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