watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
