I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
