I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
