I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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