I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
