Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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