mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident