It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today