When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
