If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.