Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
