Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize