there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
