Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
