I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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